Home Again
by Jade Star
Summary: *Reposted* Fifteen years after being kidnapped and being on the run, Simon and Ruthie return home to piece their lives back together. True recovery is more than just stepping out from the walls that held you.
1. Come Back To What You Knew

_A/N: Please note that since no specific ages are given during the show's run for the characters I'm making my own guesses so please forgive me If I'm not accurate. Will deal with themes such as sexual abuse, depression, drug abuse, self harming. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable._

_Disclaimer: Do not own the show, characters, etc. Only thing I do own are the plot and OC's._

The cranberry colored 1989 Mercury Cruiser sputtered twice before coming to a rickety stop about fifteen feet from the stop light before giving one last defiant sputter and promptly dying a few seconds later. A low popping sound emitted from the hood and a few wet smacks. Thin lines of white smoke slipped out from underneath the hood. Luckily it was around five thirty in the morning and there weren't many cars on the road, especially in the town of Glen Oak. Clutching the wheel with white knuckled fingers, Hige Watanabe swore under his breath. He snapped the ignition off and checked the rearview mirror with a scowl.

"Yo, the car died…. Again."

Silence. The girls were slumbering on each other's shoulders, every once and a while, Ruthie would mumble something incoherent and her left foot would twitch as she dreamt. Meanwhile, Rosa would snort, and sometimes would end up drooling on opposite woman's shoulder, leaving Ruthie with a wet jacket.

"Hello! I said the car died! Damn heavy sleepers."

Next to Ruthie, William rested with his head against the window pane, using a sweatshirt that doubled as a pillow, cushioning his face, which was red from the cold he had finally been able kick after a grueling week of sneezing and coughing.

"Oh for the love of….." Hige checked for traffic- none yet. With growing resolve, he promptly turned and gave his blond haired friend riding in the front passenger seat a hard punch in the arm.

"Simon! Are you gonna drool on me too or help me push?"

"Waaah…I'mmaupwhattawant?"

Hige nearly ripped off his seatbelt and threw the car door open, jumping out and making his way to the front, and lifting the hood.

"The. Car. Broke. Down. Again! I'm sick of trying to fix the damn thing!"

Simon wiped his sleep encrusted eyes with the back of his hand and then wiped his mouth and opened the door sleepily and stumbled out of the car, the dewy morning breeze slapping his stubble lined cheeks. He stretched, looking around hazily.

"We… uhhh…. Where are we?"

Hige, bent over the guts of the car's engine, and currently poking a smoking tube inside and muttering under his breathe shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno… some small time California town or something. Glen…. Brook? Glen Moat? I dunno, but I hope they have a good repair shop here….this baby ain't gonna last much longer."

Simon glanced around, with a slow realization striking him. The town had obviously changed in their time away, but some things….the main street, the corner coffee shop, the high school. These things would remain unchanged.

"Glen Oak…." Simon whispered throatily. "This is…. Our hometown… Ruthie's and mine….we're home…."

"Shit…seriously? You're not joking? This is really your hometown?" Hige wiped his oil slicked hands on his shirt.

Simon crossed his arms, eyes narrowing. "Why would I lie? Trust me…. Some things look different yeah, but this is definitely it. Ruthie and I…. grew up…. God… only a few miles away from here."

Hige poked at a few more wires, and once satisfied closed the hood. He looked at Simon's worried face, and nodded slowly.

" how long has it been… since…. You know?" Hige pressed gently. Simon ran a hand through his hair, and looked around.

"Damn… I don't remember…. Fifteen…. Sixteen years? You mean the day…. We were….."

"Taken?" Hige cautioned.

Simon blew air slowly out. "Yeah."

Hige clucked his tongue, checking out his handiwork.

"Well… good news is, I got the old girl to keep going. Bad news is, this'll be her last leg of the trip… and we're looking at least two grand in repairs…. And that's minimum." Hige reached into his pocket for his cigarettes, offering Simon one.

"Thanks." Simon took it, and lit it, inhaling deeply. Both men nursed their cigarettes quietly for a few moments.

"The girls and Will are gonna wake up soon. Plans? Ideas?" Hige questioned. Simon kicked at a stray leaf on the sidewalk.

"I don't know…. God…. I… we never expected to get home. I have no idea what my family's been up to or if they still live here…. Hell, they probably think that Ruthie and I are dead!"

"Dude… don't be pulling the angst card on me. You weren't dead. Just… missing." Hige said, tossing his cigarette on the ground and crushing it under his heel.

" Oh come on, Hige." Simon muttered. "We disappeared over ten years ago. We've got to be closed or cold cases by now. Plus…. How can we go back to our old life now? I mean… really? Seriously? With the things we've done…? Our father was Minister…. Having us show up…. With all our baggage?"

"Baggage? Uhhh… I don't recall trying to survive baggage, man." Hige shot back crisply. Simon chuckled darkly.

"Whatever you say man."

"No, listen. You and Ruthie got a raw deal all those years back, I know that. Hell… Will, Rosa, and I were in the same damn compound as you! We made it through! We escaped together! Those sick bastards can't hurt us any more."

"Oh really?" Simon snarled tersely. "You can honestly say you weren't affected by all that shit all those years ago? The beatings? The starvation? The rape? Huh?"

Hige turned, meeting his friend eye to eye, voice tense.

"I did what I had to do to survive. You did. We all did. We have blood on our hands, and so what? We wash it off and we move on!"

"I'm not looking for forgiveness!" Simon spat. Hige leaned back against the side of the car.

"I didn't ask if you were, Simon."

Simon spat on the ground, and shook his head. He leaned into the car, smacking Ruthie on the head gently.

"WhatsamatterI'mwake….what the hell, Simon?" Ruthie's eyes snapped open languidly, taking in her surroundings with a puzzled expression. Her older brother's face looked dazed as he removed his head from the car.

"Uhhh…..we're home." He mumbled.

"What…? No….. No. Can't be…. No."

Ruthie shifted so Rosa's weight wasn't pressing down on her, and was careful to not disturb Will. The young man scratched at his face, then resumed his uninterrupted slumber. Hopping over the gear shift and out Simon's open door, she planted her feet firmly on the sidewalk.

"Oh my god…we're home." She breathed, in awe.

"Duh. Told ya." Simon shot back.

"We…. I haven't…. I never thought we'd see this place again." Ruthie whispered, taking in the altered but familiar streets, the sights and sounds of her almost forgotten childhood.

"Neither did I. Car's busted and we…. Gotta stay here till its fixed." Simon said, patting the hood gently.

"Damn…." Ruthie spun on her heel, looking up and down main street with a rising panic in her voice. Their brother? Their sisters? Their parents?

"Simon…. I wanna… see mom.. and dad… and Matt… and Lucy…. And…..I wanna go home." Her face scrunched up, eyes moist.

"I want to go home too, Ruthie… but…think about…. Would they believe us? Would we fit into their lives again after all this time? Plus….we don't' know if anyone's around anymore. Hell, our old house could be gone or there could be new people it in."

"Mom and dad wouldn't have forgotten us!" Ruthie fired back, eyes narrowed despite the tears that were building up behind them. "I _know _they wouldn't until they had proof! I wouldn't give up unless I saw my own cold dead body."

"Maybe… or maybe not. Who knows what the papers or the police have done during our…. Time…away." Simon said, refusing to use the word kidnapping. Ruthie paced up and down for a few moments, muttering under her breath.

Hige shrugged. "Well, me an' Will an Rosa got no place to go, so whatever you two wanna do is fine by us."

" You're forgetting about Carlos… we can't stay here even if we wanted to." Ruthie said, looking at both men with concerned eyes. "He'll find us again… always does."

"Yeah, nothing like a gang boss with a vendetta to make you feel loved." Simon growled. Hige waved the woman's fears away.

"Puh-lease. We taught that bastard a lesson, and he's still licking his wounds. He never came up against the likes of us."

"Yeah because when we worked for him, and then stabbed him in the back, he'll just take that lying down." Simon said bitterly. "Right."

"Uhh this the first time in about four years I don't have to sleep with one eye open and a glock under my pillow. Don't ruin the moment for me. Please." Ruthie begged, taking her brother's arm.

"Sorry kid…." Simon soothed, smiling playfully. Hige shook his head.

"Well c'mon… I'm starved and tired, since I did all the driving. I vote we find a cheap motel and crash somewhere and then plan our next move. Deal?"

"Sounds good. I'm beat…. There was this nice place a few blocks up… dunno if its still there or not, but we can look." Simon said, gesturing for Ruthie to go first so she could squeeze back in between their friends.

"I'd kill for some chocolate chip pancakes." Ruthie whispered, wiggling into the back seat again. Simon made a weird face.

"Ugh. That's so nasty."

"You never tried them!"

Hige climbed in behind the wheel and turned on the ignition. The car sputtered to life and with a press of the gas, ambled on down the road.

_To be continued…_


	2. Like Waiting For The World To Fall

_The cellblock is unusually quiet tonight. The cells are cold. He's cold. Blue fingers grasp iron bars and he presses his dirty face up against them. Light. No light. Where was the light? Cold light. Always cold. Never warm. Never. Warmth is bad. He's bad. Bad people deserve to be in the cold. He shivers. He's not bad. _

_He tells himself this. Tells himself. Does he believe it? No he does not. _

_Hungry. Thirsty. Nagging. Always clawing at him. He'd do anything for a glass of water. Something to eat. _

_Cold blue fingers._

_A girl's whimper. A girl…. Here? No. This was the boys' barracks. The girls were across the compound. What girl?_

_Sister. His little sister. She was crying without him. He closed his eyes. He had a sister? Forget. He was starting to forget._

_No. He had a name. He had a family somewhere. He was here with his sister. They were here._

_Sister…. Family?_

_If he had them…._

_Why couldn't he remember them?_

Simon opened his eyes, squinting against the sunlight that peered through the broken blinds, scalding his sleep sensitive eyes. He turned, stuffing the pillow over his face, and drew the covers over his head. The sound of running water and steam slipped from underneath the cracks in the bathroom. The faucet was cut short, and the heavy thud of a person stepping out of the shower. Slowly, he removed his pillow from his face, sitting up in bed. A thin film of cold sweat plastered his hair to his face. He wiped it with the back of his hand.

"So, up I see? You must have been having one hell of a nightmare, man."

Hige stood in the doorway, in only a towel, dark hair clung to his wet body. He rubbed a second towel through his sopping wet hair. Simon sniffed, clutching at the covers.

"It was…. Just a dream… old memories of… being back there…. I had a hard time remembering who I was back then and- " he paused, his mouth twisting into a grimance of disgust "dude put some clothes on! I don't wanna see all that!"

Hige ducked back into the bathroom, as a pillow slapped against the wall with a soft plop. Laughter from inside the steam filled room.

"Hey! I didn't take all the hot water ya know!"

Simon slowly planted his feet on the floor, raking his hands through his messy blond hair. He'd really need a trim sooner or later.

"Well that's good to know." Simon mumbled, stretching and shuffling towards the duffle bags that were thrown haphazardly on the table. Between the four of them, they packed extremely light. He pulled it open, tossing a pair of jeans, boxers, and a t-shirt onto the bed without much preamble, and then a bottle of traveler's shampoo, and a nub of soap.

" So what's on the agenda for today?"

Hige stepped out of the bathroom, pulling on a black t-shirt over matching cargo pants, toothbrush in mouth. He flopped down on his bed, and began pulling on his socks. Simon tucked his clean clothes under one arm, soap and shampoo bottle the other arm.

"Well first, breakfast. I have no idea how long since its been since we ate anything. Then, why don't you go check on the girls?"

Hige looked shocked.

"No. Last time, I accidently walked in on Rosa in her underwear! Do you _know _how close she came to killing me?"

"Least it wasn't my sister." Simon growled pointedly. "Plus, didn't you knock? Duh."

He slipped into the bathroom, shutting the door quickly and braced the sink tightly with both hands. He looked at his face, staring at the young man who'd been an innocent boy all those years ago. A sharp cry snaked up his throat, and in rebellion, he squeezed his lips tight to keep from releasing it. He bent over, holding his stomach, quashing the pain that threatened to eat him up alive.

_Keep going, Simon. Don't fall apart yet. Think of Ruthie. Don't crumble yet._

He touched his face with trembling fingers, and then yanked hard on the faucet. Gathering a handful of cold water, he splashed it over his face. It alleviated the pain, if only for a moment. With a sigh, he turned on the water in the shower as hot as it would go, and wiggled out of his bed rumpled pants, boxers, and shirt depositing the dirty clothes in a pile by the door. The blast of the hot water struck his body, and he moaned in gratitude.

_Thank god for hot showers_

He scrubbed his skin until it was pink. Running a generous amount of shampoo into his hair, he raked it through his hair, scratching at his scalp until he was sure there'd be minor bleeding from it. Nothing could compare to being clean.

_Only physically clean. Inside you're a wreck waiting to happen. No shower can change that._

The little voice was cruel but right. Simon dipped his head back underneath the water, rising out the shampoo and then reaching for the tiny bottle of conditioner.

_What are you gonna do now? What are we gonna do now? Go home? Can we?_

"I want to go home…." Simon whispered to the empty room. He felt his eyes grow moist despite being in the steamy room, and he ignored the lump from his adam's apple in his throat. He ducked underneath the hot spray, rinsing out his hair a second time. He reached for the wash rag, applying soap and began to scrub his arms and back, ignoring the welts that crisscrossed his arms. Each scar, a vivid reminder.

_You can't get those off either. None of you can. Scars don't' wash away. Their sole purpose is to make you remember_

A light rap at the door. Simon ignored it. He wanted this time for himself. He rested his cheek against the cool tile of the shower, heavy lidded eyes drooping shut.

"What am I gonna do….. God….. what am I gonna do?"

He clutched at the wall, mumbling the long forgotten prayers of his childhood. He bit at his lip, teeth dragging over the cut on the inside of his lower lip.

_Stop that! _He cautioned himself. The sound of the toilet flushing and a moment later an icy jet of cold water sprayed, making him sputter in surprise, as he leapt back in the soapy box.

"Shit! Hige what in the _fuck?"_

"Uhhh hello! I've been waiting for about twenty-five minutes! When a man's gotta go, he's gotta go!"

Simon clenched his teeth. The sound of the sink running and Hige's fading laughter as he darted out of the room.

_Soon as I'm dressed, I'm gonna kill that bastard._

_The first beating was the worst. Rough hands, male hands delivering one blow after blow. Crude and foul breath curling up her back. She kicked, she cried. He pressed down harder, laughing. Why was he laughing? No one laughed here._

_The blows left her dizzy. She wanted to cry out- but something stopped her. Why was she alone? The cage was dark._

_She was scared of the dark. Where was her nightlight? Home. It was at home. She wasn't at home. _

_Pain. It began to override everything._

_Blood was running. Whose blood? Hers? She was bleeding? Someone was bleeding?_

_A smack. The whimper of a child's innocence broken._

_All gone. Fade to black._

_Gone._

"Chica, why lookin' like that? Seen a ghost?"

"Ehhh? Noo…. Just thinking about stuff."

"What stuff, eh? Here- eat this."

Ruthie sat crossed legged on the bed, narrowly avoiding the buttered toast Rosa had nearly crammed into her mouth.

"I'm not hungry…." Ruthie mumbled.

"You _not _hungry? You're always been hungry." Rosa persisted with slight accusatory tone. Ruthie forced a fake smile on her face.

"Really, I'm fine."

Rosa eyed her suspiciously. "Loco…." She mumbled to herself, before dropping onto Ruthie's bed, laying on her side. "So," she began after a moment, nibbling on her own piece of toast. "Now that we're here…. Ideas?"

Ruthie traced the checkered pattern on the covers. "Well… Hige's gonna see if he can get someone to look at the car, and I heard its gonna cost a lot…."

"Which I'm not even thinking about." Rosa interjected with a frown. "We only got about two hundred between the four of us."

"I know." Ruthie cast her eyes downward. "I'm….just." she wouldn't look at Rosa, preferring to look out the window.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rosa exploded fiercely, seizing the younger woman by the shoulders and forcing eye contact. Ruthie hiccupped, prying Rosa's fingers off gently, and holding her pillow tighter.

"Uhh…remember that doctor… at the clinic in the last town back? Well…..we got the results back…. Simon and me….."

Rosa nodded slowly.

"Well?" she pressed gently. Ruthie inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly, fingers twisting the covers tightly.

"We're HIV positive….I almost figured as much…. But damn…." Ruthie looked away, eyes moist. Rosa sucked in her breath.

"You are…. Sure…about this?"

"Well yeah… I mean… I've felt lousy for a long time now. Simon too…. But we… resisted ya know? Its not like you want to take this test. But this confirms it I guess. Simon already knows… I heard him talking to Hige about it."

" I'm so… so damned sorry…." Rosa whispered In a broken voice.

"Not much we can do about it now." Ruthie mumbled. "Now, we're all alike now I guess."

"Hige and I never wanted… hoped… that… you wouldn't be… like us." Rosa said in barely audible tones. "I never dreamed… you'd be…"

"Sick like you two? Well…. Least we're all in this together now…" Ruthie replied in a false tone of cheer. "Thing is… I'm not even afraid to die."

"Oh boy… the God thing right? Well, you got your beliefs and I got mine." Rosa said, laying down on her back, head cushioned by her hands. "Not that I'm knockin' your religion thing, but it doesn't work for me."

"Hmmm. Maybe sometime you'll give the God thing a try." Ruthie joked.

"Suuure. When hell freezes over…. Oh wait… don't believe in that either."

Ruthie ran a hand over her face, and through half moist eyes saw the phone by the bed. She reached over, picking it up.

"Hello….. oh, hi Simon. Wait…. What?... when….WHAT? Are you…? Fine. We'll meet outside by the main desk in fifteen. Uh-huh. Love you. Bye."

"Fifteen? He's too damn fast… I still got my hair to do.. I ain't leaving here looking like this!" Rosa protested, animatedly pointing to her half curled hair.

"My fault you slept in? You know checkout's ten and its quarter to ten. Plus didn't even finish packing. Go fix your hair, I'll grab the bags." Ruthie prodded Rosa with her foot. Grumbling, the older woman regretfully hauled herself off the bed, and trudged to the bathroom.

"What'd the boys want?"

Ruthie sat on her stomach, limbs akimbo on the bed.

"Well, Simon wants me to go to the police station with him."

"Why?" Rosa poked her head out, curling iron in hand, looking puzzled.

"He wants us to report ourselves. That we're no longer missing. Time to start looking for our family."

_To be continued….._


End file.
